Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Check out my Poem - Titled Why?



My Poem  Why?
Inspired by the many times I was questioned why I chose to study Social Work



My Poem Why?
Constantly I am asked why?
To that question I reply
Because I opened up my eyes
I saw my surroundings, the disparities and the inequalities

I saw broken streets and broken dreams
Graffiti walls and dead end streets
I saw dead dogs lying on the sidewalk, as well as young men dying due to gang violence


I saw dead people walking, with somber looks filled with sadness, No sparkle left in their eyes, No dreams to bring them back to life

And Why is No one talking, walk past me like I'm invisible, treat me like I’m a stranger or a criminal

Trash filled alleys, with dirty mattresses, trash pilling on like mini mountains. Police harassment is so common, just like receiving a summons

The bird circling night and day flashing its lights to no success

No neighborhood watch, No community or unity
Broken houses, broken windows, broken families, Broken dreams

Constantly I am asked why?
To that question I reply
Because I opened up my eyes


I saw children lacking things and mothers struggling to make ends meet
I saw absent fathers...and boys aimlessly wandering with no super hero to guide them,

No loving words or encouragement, No little league games, No Role Models
A constant journey through the jail system going in and out like if it’s was a fast food   restaurant

I saw the youth walking aimlessly with No guidance, future or hope for a tomorrow, No education, No job and No College diploma.
I saw young people almost children making babies with no tomorrow, waiting in line for cash assistance
I saw old men with tired arms, with broken backs and sleepless eyes 
I see the sorrow in their yes,  

I saw the grandmas with gray hair working night and day waiting on the bus to take them home back to where they live, 
From lush gardens and clean and safe streets, back into communities filled with broken walls and broken dreams, with broken hearts and much despair... With No help coming from anywhere...

Every day I'm asked why?
To that simply I reply... Because I opened up my eyes and saw the sorrow in their eyes. 

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

He makes my Life a Little bit sweeter

on my worst days, he always manages to put a smile on my face , this time all he needed was my iPad and his imagination and was able to produce these images that made me forget about how horrible I was feeling. Like they say Laughter is a cure for almost anything, even if its a temporary relief. Thank you my Lil "D" tia Loves you Greatly 

 Green Apple/ Arm boy 

Alien D

Cosmic Flower 

Space Bird Attacks 

In my weakest moments.. he carries me on

I have been missing for a while, I am starting to feel that this pain will never go away. If you read my previous posts you will know by now that my health is not the greatest thing right now. I have held tight to my faith and  believe that God will help me through this. Mentally I am patient , but Physically there are bad days and then there are really really bad days. Yesterday I went to my Dr. Appt. and as I was sitting there waiting for my turn, I saw the other patients, they are all in their late 60's - 80's and are dealing with ailments due to age. I unfortunately am no where near that age at best I am 1/3 of their age and I am in the same boat. Achy wrist, hands, neck , back and all that good stuff that I earned while earning a living for my family. Man all I have to say is that there has to be a solution to my problem ASAP!! I have a life that is waiting for me and these annoying side streets have already gotten on my nerves. NO More Pit Stops.. God help me Fly into my future and allow me to achieve my full potential.
xoxoxo Liz

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Dream in Color

When I dream, I dream in color, and most of the time I dream with my eyes wide opened. I love to imagine what life has ahead for me and I make plans to make sure that I have something to look forward to and to have something to work towards. Over the last couple of months my life has changed drastically. I became ill and eventually lost my job, at first I was sad , but I soon discovered that God had bigger and better plans for me. In September I was in so much pain I wanted my arm to be cut off. I prayed and was so grateful to have some time to rest. Unfortunately the rest didn't make the pain go away, I felt like an 90 year old great grandmother, unable to brush my hair, cook a meal and even unable to make my bed. for an active person , having your body break on you takes an emotional toll. But Like I said God had plans for me, but I needed to decide what I would be willing to do. I applied to school even before I was really sick, delayed enrollment two times, I was not going to be able to delay it anymore . So I took a leap of faith and I told myself if I worked 40 hours shifts in pain, I can take two 1 hour classes once a week. So I did and now I am two weeks away from finishing my first semester of Grad School. My body is still recuperating, I am still in pain, But I am grateful I didn't wait and lose my opportunity to attend school. It has helped me to focus on getting better and not feel sorry for myself. So when life seems unfair and everything seems to be against you, don't give up, look for the rainbow that appears after the storm and hold on to your dreams, and make them a reality.

 after my Masters... Law School here I come.. and I come in the name of Jesus who strengthens me!! my body may be broken, but my Spirit is strengthen in Jesus who Strengthens me.
And as my School says... FIGHT ON!!!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

I wish I lived in Fafi's World

Greetings I am unable to sleep... hard to find the right position to fall sleep when your body is achy. So I decided to write. It is officially March and the countdown to Birthdays has begun. March 02, will be Dr. Seuss's Bday and we plan to read some Green eggs and Ham. On saturday March 03, will be my future mother in laws birthday. So I need to get some roses. Sunday March 04, is dear old Pops Bday and I need to get him a Cake. And then Drum roll please... Friday March 9, will be my nephews' 10 birthday !!! Yeah!!! How time flies, just yesterday he was a baby and now he is celebrating a decade. Ten wonderful years filled with his laughter and wonder. I pray that God continues to bless us with many many many many many more birthdays . May he Bless all the March babies and may their day be filled with Love and Green unicorns =D

this is one of my favorite Fafi paintings.. it makes me smile.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Broken Column

Greeting and Happy So Belated New Year!!
 I have been super duper busy,with Dr. Visits, tests and Physical Therapy. I have been dealing with my health issues for over a year, if I have one piece of advice to give you, it would be to please find a job that will not require you to do so much manual labor. I was so thankful for my job, as it allowed me the opportunity to help my family financially and still have time to get my undergraduate degree, but I do regret staying longer than planned. We only get one body and if we mess it up, we will regret it forever. I have been in pain for over a year and a half. I have gone through Different Doctors and nothing but, I am so blessed to currently be in the care of one the best Dr.'s and he is such a Knight in shinning armor. I also Have the best Physical Therapist, she is God sent her hands are a blessing and her partner in crime is amazing. They were able to help me reduce the intensity of my headaches and for that I am so grateful. Thank You Jesus!!! for allowing me to find them. So take this as an example, value your health ore than your job. As of this past Wednesday my work place could no longer wait form to return and I was officially let go. I don't blame them , they have so much work that needs to be done and I understand they needed to replace me. Like I said I appreciated the opportunity to work with them. Now I can only pray that God heals me and makes my body complete. Due to the pain I am limited as to what  I can do, and what I do I have to endure so much pain to do. So please take care of your self, make room to dance and move and give yourself some rest time. I worked non-stop for 8 years with out taking a vacation, worked OT and on weekends and the money is always useful, but your health is PRICELESS!!!!! so take care of it. We only get one body and if we mess it up we can not go to the Doctor and ask for a replacement. Trust  me, I tried and it's not possible. I went to my Doctor and I said I need the following parts change do you have any spare for My neck, My Shoulders ( left and right) my Arms ( left and Right) my wrist ( left and right ) and Hands, and can you  please put a Rush Order on my right one, and also My upper Back, and if possible my head , I have a headache that travel all the way to my right temple and right eye and my eye socket feels like it is going to explode. They said We are sorry =( we can't do that.
Moral of my story, money comes and goes and we need it, but our health is more important than money. and once it goes, it is almost impossible to get it back.

I feel like Frieda Khalo and I can so tally understand how she felt. To stop the pain that our bodies are experiencing we are forced to drink medication that alters our minds, our thought and makes us feel better for a while, but it does not cure us. The muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatory that are supposed to help makes my mouth bitter and makes my skin dry and fall and all the other medication has side effects that will either heal you or kill you. So take care of your Health !!

Picture is The Broken Column by Frieda Kahlo
xoxox
Liz

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Merry Christmas....

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, or Hanukkah, I hope you enjoyed the time with your loved ones. I am grateful that our little family had a great xmas, my nephews were so excited to see Santa and the goodies he might be bringing. This year all they asked for were Trash Packs and Squinkies... LOL I know you might be asking what are those? in two words..Highway Robbery. They are small eraser top like mini toys that my nephews are wild over. So we spend an entire day searching for them and we had some luck at Target and at Toys R Us. In the end they got what they had asked for and we had a wonderful time.

Next stop New Years and I am hoping we can attend our church's New Years Vigil. I have not missed one in over 12 years and I don't want to miss this one. I apologize for not posting as much as I would want to , but I am still recuperating from my injury and my shoulders and arms are still not working. So I am not able to spend much time on the computer =(. In case I am not able to post before New Years I am going to wish you all a Happy New Year, May it be filled with greatness and may it be filled with Love, Family, Abundance, Health and Prosperity.

 I am thankful for all that God has given me and for all that I am yet to achieve. I thank him in advance for all the blessings he has already sent my way and the blessings that are schedule to arrive shortly. I am grateful for my family and I pray that 2012 will be a blessed year for all of you.

xoxox Liz

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Love the inner child in all of us

Saturday I had the privilege to attend the Coca Cola Adelante Tour. And all I can say is WOW!! My friend invited me and I am so grateful she did. I was in  Forum for Latina women and I got to meet some amazing women. I would like to say Thank You! to Coca Cola, Sandra Cisneros, Michele Ruiz, Isasara Bay, Nell Merlino, Nely Galan , and all the women who were present at the Coca-Cola Adelante Forum. It is really hard to be a Latina with a dream and not have mentors or other women similar to yourself to look up to. But yesterday I finally felt like I belong, I was so happy to be surrounded by all my sisters who had similar dreams and aspirations. And I finally was able to embrace what makes me an outcast in my own community. In the words of Sandra Cisneros, I am embracing being a Chingona and I am proud to be one. And Thanks to Michelle Ruiz I was finally able to "Let it Go to Grow", I had such an Amazing time and learn so much that I am so eager to share with the rest of the world.


My most favorite part of the event was when they asked us pull our baby picture out, We had been asked to take a picture of us when we were small, I chose one of myself when I was about 4-5 years old. I was in El Salvador wearing a soft light blue dress and my hair was long with a bow on the side. So when we all took out our pictures, we were asked to take a good look at that Little girl in the picture, and I am being honest when I say this, when I looked at myself in the picture my heart broke. I felt so much sadness and pain and I was embarrassed because I had big drops falling out of my eyes. But I looked around and I wasn't the only one. I realized that we shared one more thing in common , PAIN we were all touched by the sight of the little girls that stared back at us. We were then told to look at that little girl and promise her to be the best mother we could be to her. There was no one with a dry eye in that room. I realized there and then that most of us Latinas have been raised by mothers who were never mothered and loved. Their unresolved issues and pain were passed down from generation to generations and as a consequence we are left with so many issues that need to be resolved. I finally understood why I was crying, I felt all the emotions rush me and I realized that I always wanted to feel a mothers love. I always longed for affection, for  my parents to see me and love me for who I am . The words were spoken and we had to repeat them to our selves, I realized that I was still that little 5 year old wanting to be accepted and loved. So I promised to do just that I WILL LOVE MYSELF and be the best mom I can be to my 5 year old self. She is still living in me and unless I love her and acknowledge her pain, she won't be able to blossom into a successful woman.
I learned so much and  I will share it with everyone I know. I will start with my nephew and niece. 


xoxoxo Liz