The Broken Column

Greeting and Happy So Belated New Year!!
 I have been super duper busy,with Dr. Visits, tests and Physical Therapy. I have been dealing with my health issues for over a year, if I have one piece of advice to give you, it would be to please find a job that will not require you to do so much manual labor. I was so thankful for my job, as it allowed me the opportunity to help my family financially and still have time to get my undergraduate degree, but I do regret staying longer than planned. We only get one body and if we mess it up, we will regret it forever. I have been in pain for over a year and a half. I have gone through Different Doctors and nothing but, I am so blessed to currently be in the care of one the best Dr.'s and he is such a Knight in shinning armor. I also Have the best Physical Therapist, she is God sent her hands are a blessing and her partner in crime is amazing. They were able to help me reduce the intensity of my headaches and for that I am so grateful. Thank You Jesus!!! for allowing me to find them. So take this as an example, value your health ore than your job. As of this past Wednesday my work place could no longer wait form to return and I was officially let go. I don't blame them , they have so much work that needs to be done and I understand they needed to replace me. Like I said I appreciated the opportunity to work with them. Now I can only pray that God heals me and makes my body complete. Due to the pain I am limited as to what  I can do, and what I do I have to endure so much pain to do. So please take care of your self, make room to dance and move and give yourself some rest time. I worked non-stop for 8 years with out taking a vacation, worked OT and on weekends and the money is always useful, but your health is PRICELESS!!!!! so take care of it. We only get one body and if we mess it up we can not go to the Doctor and ask for a replacement. Trust  me, I tried and it's not possible. I went to my Doctor and I said I need the following parts change do you have any spare for My neck, My Shoulders ( left and right) my Arms ( left and Right) my wrist ( left and right ) and Hands, and can you  please put a Rush Order on my right one, and also My upper Back, and if possible my head , I have a headache that travel all the way to my right temple and right eye and my eye socket feels like it is going to explode. They said We are sorry =( we can't do that.
Moral of my story, money comes and goes and we need it, but our health is more important than money. and once it goes, it is almost impossible to get it back.

I feel like Frieda Khalo and I can so tally understand how she felt. To stop the pain that our bodies are experiencing we are forced to drink medication that alters our minds, our thought and makes us feel better for a while, but it does not cure us. The muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatory that are supposed to help makes my mouth bitter and makes my skin dry and fall and all the other medication has side effects that will either heal you or kill you. So take care of your Health !!

Picture is The Broken Column by Frieda Kahlo
xoxox
Liz

Living by Faith

Living by faith is not as easy as we think, and for the most part we forget that when we are going through some tough time, we need to trust in God more and be patient. My natural man wants to scream , yell, shout and insult the entire world for making my life harder than it should be, but my Spiritual man reminds me that I need to relax and trust in God. It reminds me to lay all my troubles, aches and sorrows in his hands and step back and let him do his will. I know so much easier said than done, but I can tell you that it took me 8 years of working like a dog , and an injury to finally let go of my grip on my own self  and finally allow God to take control of everything. I can now say that I am finally living by Faith, I have never been so not in control of things as I am now. And I can't do anything except Trust and have Faith that God will see me through. So I hope you learn from my experience, don't allow yourself to be like me and wait until the last minute to let God have full control of your life. It can save you a ton of pain.

Also know that when it rains it pours.. this week I had an important commitment with God that I needed to keep, well I am convinced that a true blessing is headed my way because everything that could happen and go wrong did. First my phone decided to die on me and started to do weird things with the screen, then as if I didn't need them my glasses mysteriously cracked in half,  then my Dr. request for 2 test were denied by the insurance company and I had the worst, neck shoulder arm pain ever and today I am sick with a horrible cold. So as you can see when it rains it pours, but I believe in JESUS and he will help me through this. I know that I will be healed soon, a Blessing s coming my way and my life will be transformed and all the Honor and Glory will go to the Lord.

Father I surrender my life, my will, my health, my hopes and my dreams into your hands and I ask you in the name of your son Jesus that you help me overcome these obstacles that are in my way and give me Justice and Victory over my oppressors,  Amen!!

Special News...

Hello every one... I have not been able to log on and write on my blog because I have been sick. Who knew that a pain on my shoulder would last this long. It was more than just a tiredness.. there is something really wrong, I have been in pain for almost a year and it doesn't seem to end, That's why I have been MIA and haven't been able to update. Actually I haven't been able to do much typing this will guarantee a pain on my right hand and some major swelling. The worst part is that it seems like since its my pain.. Dr and Insurance don't seem to care. But Thank God I have him... I am putting my health , My life and my future in his hands. And I trust he will not let me down. Right now I have so many limitations.. my life is on Hold... I will say that even in Darkness God always lets his Light shine.  As far as answering prayers he does more than that, He manifest is works in our lives so I know that this illness, pain will soon be a thing of the past and Gods name will be glorified.  As for now I need to rest and trust in him.

Oh Yeah before I forget.. I have decided what to do  with my life, with Gods Guidance I know I will get to full fill my destiny. It might just take a bit more and more work to get there.

I am also happy to announce that God is awesome and has open a door for me to continue my education. Come January I pray that I am feeling better health wise and ready to start my Masters Program at USC. =D Yes I was accepted to USC's  Master in Social Work Program and I am so excited to start. To God goes all the Glory and I pray that He continues to use me as a vessel to share his greatness with the world.  To all those who believe in a God of greatness, I tell you that he exists and No dream is too high and No obstacle too great that He can't overcome.

Sundays Blessings! on a Thursday =D

 

OMG!!! something was wrong with my computer, I thought I had posted or at least saved my entry but it didn't. So I Have to start all over.

This is what happened this past weekend I had a AHA moment.. you I know when we all are going thru life and we think we are giving it all we have .. and then BAM!! someone who truly loves you has the audacity and guts to tell you that you are doing things Half A$$.. and you cant believe you just heard that. Well I had that happen to me on Saturday and to be Honest I needed that Reality check. I tend to be some what of a Drama Queen and I get excited about many things , but I was told and I realized that I ha vent been putting my 100% into my life lately. I must confess I was devastated when I heard those words and of Course I am a big Chillona.( No wonder my boyfriend uses that as one of my Pet names) . Yes My big Brown eyes were sobbing and the biggest tear drops were flowing out of them.. for a minute I tried to dismiss it as not being real and tried to lie to  myself that it was not true.  But come Sunday morning as I arrive at church and I am ready to go and tell JC how JZ had been so blunt and called me out.. out of my Pastors Mouth comes.. " GOD WANTS YOU TO GIVE IT YOUR ALL, IN ALL YOU DO... HE REQUIRES 100% NOT 25% AND YOU GUESSED IT .. Not 50%. And Lately YOU haven't been doing that .. You ask God for his all and maybe other people in your life for their all , But you aren't giving you100%. OMG!! what was I to do, but to get rid of my Pride and accept that reality.. That in Fact I have been a slacker that I have wasted 2 years of my life contemplating what to do instead of doing it, and If I am in a place in my life where I am not happy, I am the only one to Blame, its not God and it's not those around you that keep you do, It is YOURSELF.

Man that was tough and it felt like a slap in the Face times 2. But I accepted that my Boyfriend was correct when he stated that I am not working to my potential and I had no other choice than to specially when God himself  thru his vessel my Pastor confirmed it. So I asked God for forgiveness for being such a useless individual and I vowed to make a change. I am on day 4 and I am getting my things in order. I have plans and dreams and I have given myself a year (long term) to transform my life around. Short term I am already working on it and I promised myself to invest more time on me and not be so complacent.

So I felt the need to share this with all of you who may read this.. Don't ask God to change your life unless you are willing to change it first.  Also don't wait for God to send you an answer and to do something for you, unless you are willing to Jump and put your trust in him. And most importantly don't expect your life to change unless you take the First step and move to make it change. Remember Faith is believing in something that you can't see.  Its time we all put our faith into action and once you do that we will see The Power of GOD manifest in our  life.

Thank You GOD for one more Birthday !!

PS..I found tis cute bear on line he is not mine, I just love him

Hello every one Yeah!! today is My B-day and I am unfortunately at work with a Flu and with some major pain on my neck/ back and shoulders, but I am grateful that I have one more day in this life that God has been so kind enough to lend me. Last night I did my Thank You prayer and I asked the Lord for guidance. I am also Happy to say that I know what I will study next, I am not going to say what my decision is, I will wait for a better time to share with all of you, But As a b-day gift I asked Jesus to help me achieve my Purpose and my Dreams. And to use me to help others achieve theirs.

 I called my Twin and I wished her a Happy birthday she is also sick with the Flu I think I gave it to her ( by the way in case you did not read my previous entry my twin is my now 6 year old Niece, we are born on the same day " so in her 5 year old brain .. that means we are twins.. =D.

I have been blessed with many Happy Birthdays and I am so Thankful for the loved ones in my life that remembered.. I don't know what My boyfriend has in stored, I did say I wanted to go to Disneyland.. but I am not feeling good so I don't think I have the energy to do that. And as far as my Wish list.. this is the first year that I didn't have a list of stuff.. I was more concerned with God guiding me into my right path that I kinda focused my energy into asking the Lord for that type of blessing.
 =(... maybe that means I am growing up and maturing.

At work my Friends decorated my area with happy birthdays decorations and we cut a huge chocolate Cake . Yum Yum.. and then we hit Shakeys for a not so healthy but oh so good Lunch =D.

Anyways I hope you are all in good health and I pray that God blesses all my loved ones. my nephews and my Family and me with Love, Health Prosperity and Happiness. For my wish I wish blessings for all of us who need them and may God give us many many more years to grow in his presence.

xoxoxo and Thank You
Liz

Happy Saturday =D!! Day 13 of my Search

Today is Day 13 of my Fast and I am learning so much along the way as you will see in this post.

Meditation for the 13th day:

For there are three that bear witness in heaven: the Father, the Word and the Holy Spirit; and these three are one. 1 John 5:7

I am enjoying a quite day at home... last night boyfriend and I had some quality time together, he had school early in the morning at 7 am and I was at work, but we managed to get some US time in and today he naps all day, poor baby he works in the night so he gets home around 7 am and will nap the whole day, just to head back to work tonight at 10 pm, and he will do the same tomorrow and Monday.

He has a hectic schedule and so much on his plate, and  I must tell you that I am ashamed of myself
Let me explain, I have been focusing on my spiritual life and because of that  I was able to realize that some of the actions and attitudes that I was exhibiting were not appropriate. Well as I just explained by Boyfriend goes to school in the AM and works at night, so that pretty much doesn't leave much free time for us to spend like we used to. So,  selfish me... I have been tormenting him and complaining about how HE DOES NOT HAVE TIME FOR ME!!.. Yes I said I was ashamed.

I realized that I wasn't being a supportive girlfriend, instead I was behaving like my old self... a selfish Brat, that was used to getting her way. So I did some soul searching and I read my second book, which is The fruits of the Flesh and the Fruits of the Spirit, and I realized that my Flesh was taking the best of me. So I  took my medicine and decided to be a big girl and I apologized for not being there for him, like he was and is for me specially  when I was in school and working even on the weekends he never complained. Pretty soon I will be in school again and will be working and will have limitation like he does, and I realized that It was not because he cared less for me, but because school needs to be completed and we have to wait for free time to have some fun.

I was so selfish and I used great terms and my knowledge in Psychology to make him think that I had a point, I even said I was not a Priority to him and how I felt abandoned =( yes i know.. so bad,  to which he Replied "You are a priority, Everything I do is for you". And he demonstrated it by making time for me. Yesterday he went to school from 7 am to 3 pm and needed to get to work from 10 pm to 6:30 am, in between there he takes a nap, but instead he went to my work to pick me up and spent some time with me. At around 8 pm, I saw his eyes bloodshot and tired and I felt so bad.. here I am making the person I Love suffer just to please my selfish desires. I saw him with my Spiritual eyes and with my heart and it hurt me to see him that way.  I realized that I was not being such a good person, and that instead of helping him be a better person, I was tormenting him. Abusing the Love he has for me and making him sacrifice himself to prove a point that didn't need to be proven.

I am supposed to be there for him, cheering him on and helping him be the best, just like he does for me, but instead I let the ideas of the world into my life and instead of appreciating the things he does, I focused on the things that he couldn't do. And Lost track of the things I am supposed to do for him.

Such a lesson learned, I was expecting to receive more than what I was giving... doesn't work that way in Life, School, Relationships and specially with God.

xoxox till tomorrow be Blessed Liz

Dreamer and Flowers of the Field

Ever since I can remember I always was a day dreamer and I have this amazing imagination. When I dream I dream in color and it feels real. And I don't have to be asleep to dream. What I realized lately is that I have been so busy working and being responsible that  I have stopped dreaming. That to me is the equivalent to death. If my ideas and dreams are not manifesting because I am too consumed with work, bills etc.. etc, that is not a good things and no wonder I am sick. When we are children even school lets us out for recess time to play. As we mature we find hobbies and fun things to do, But when we become adults we allow work,a bills and money consume our every moment and stop having time for us. No wonder we ache and our bodies give up on us. We were meant to be social animals, that is why we have families. But most of us spend more time at work than at home with our families.


We focus on materialistic things that we can't take with us when we die, and we loose track of the important things, like family and fun.


I am so happy I am able to type, I was missing putting my thoughts down. But I am using wrist supports and for someone who uses her hands to create that is the hardest thing to accept. I am limited as to the amount of time I am able to use my hands. I have to constantly give them a break or else the pain worsens. Which means I am not able to fully do what I love, like painting, drawing, photography, blogging, writing , holding a book, crafts, making my bows or beads. 


See where worrying about bills and work got me, I pray that I fully heal, but i am also aware that it might not that I might have to wear these constraints for ever. However I am grateful to gain some use of my hands even if its limited.


So take care of yourselves and take a recess  every day, move, dance, laugh, live, play, love, breath do what GOD created to to do..be sociable and get out and smell the flowers. Work is work and it will always be there, bills will never seize to exist, but health and joy are things that we throw away too easily.


Keep this in mind even GOD tells us not to worry, but to trust in him and he will take care of our needs. 


Read Mathew 6, but specially Mathew 6:25 and on.


 ²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?
   ²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

So take some time for you and enjoy your day, Praise the Lord for what you have and for the days of life he has provided. I thank him for letting me have all this time to rest, I worked non stop for 8 years no vacation and no rest. Finally my body said enough and now I am here re cooperating from my self inflicted pain. Learn from me don't do this to yourself.

xoxox Liz

Happy Birthday D.. May God Bless you with your Hearts Desire

My nephew's Birthday was a blast, we had a small dinner at home with the family, he loved it. He said that it was the best Birthday Ever  =D. His mom side of the family called him on the phone to wish him a Happy Birthday. They took turns calling so he was so happy answering the Phone every time the phone rang it was someone wishing him a Happy Birthday, my friends also called him they know him since he was born so he really loved the pouring of Love. He is truly Loved thank You God for all your love and all the wonderful people that send D their love.

DREAM Act news: With bill stalled in Senate, what happens next?

DREAM Act news: With bill stalled in Senate, what happens next?

I am paying close attention to this because it is a topic dear to my heart. I am a Citizen of this country, but I was not born here. I like hundreds of thousands of students, children and young men and women was brought to this country as a child by my mother. I understand that by her doing so, she was breaking the law. But my mother took the chance because she wanted to give me a Chance. A chance at a different life than hers. My mother and I were born in El Salvador, she lacked the opportunity to obtain and education because she was born in poverty and had to start to work at the age of 8 years old. At the age of 16 she found a job as a nanny and a cook in the homes of foreign diplomats. But after I was born in her late 20's she left her country and family and made the dangerous journey to the States where she worked as a house keeper for more than 30 years. She washed toilets and cleaned houses to give me a better life. At 63 her hands are damaged from the cleaning materials she used to clean the homes of many Americans.
Kind hearted people who had love and compassion and hired her because she was a good woman and they could trust her with their home. In the 80's when President Ronald Reagan passed the Immigration act, which made it illegal to hire illegal immigrants, he also gave an Amnesty to millions, of whom I was one of them. Thanks to that small window he opened I was able to become a legal resident and eventually a Citizen.

My mother worked 7 days a week and pride herself in providing for me food and shelter, she never received welfare, and she never applied for Medical, and always worked and payed her taxes. I was able to attend Public school , and I was so grateful to have that opportunity and I took the gift of knowledge that she and this country had given me and I ran with it.

I am now urging and sending emails to my Representatives and even opened a twitter account to follow the Senators who now hold the power to give an opportunity like the one I once received to many very well deserving children and young men and women. And above all I am Praying to He who is the King of Kings and who holds the earth in the Palm of his hands ,to touch the heart of those who hold the authority to pass this Dream Act.

I was brought here not by choice, but by choice I became a Citizen of this Nation and I am proud to call myself and American, I urge all to contact your representative and give some one like myself a chance to achieve their American Dream.

War and Battle

Today I was blessed to go to church and take my niece and my nephew to Sunday school. After service I always ask them what did they learn ? They are still small , my niece is 5 yrs and my nephew is 7 yrs old.. they show me their assignment for the day.. which usually consists of a bible verse and and entire page full of colors and drawings.

Then they proceed to tell me what the Sunday school teacher attempted to teach them. Sometimes it does not go that well because there is always a story about another child who happens to misbehave, but today, it was different , I asked them what the subject for their lesson was and they replied.. "What was yours, what did u learn??

So I felt surprised and did not expect to get that reply..specially since today.. it was one of those services where you know GOD is talking to you.. because everything that comes out of the Man of God is exactly what you need to hear. So I proceeded to tell them how we Learned about "Forgiveness" and having a heart full of Joy and empty of anger, resentment and hate. And how if GOD sees us walking around with a heart full of all this garbage , he can never make us happy. How we need to allow GOD to cleanse our being and make us new individuals, how we need to be different from the rest of the world.. and how we need to forgive those who have harmed us.

My nephew.. then replied.. MMMmm we learned the same thing.. =D

and them they showed me their work as usual.. a page with a bible verse and a study guide which has been covered completely with drawings..

But even if they bring back a page filled with drawings, My nephew draws whales and my niece draws monkeys... I hope that small baby seeds of faith are being planted and that as they grow these little seeds grow until the day arrives that they will be ready to mature and bloom.

When that day comes.. I pray that they are ready for War and Battle and that God covers them with all his Armor and gives them victory.

Blessings to all and may you all have a Blessed week

sea xoxox

Climb that Mountain!!

what's on mind.. what's on my mind..??

I am sitting here thinking about life ( Yet Again) .. Yesterday I climbed a huge Mountain.. Honestly I did... I huffed and puffed all the way up to it.. I had set in mind that this time I was not doing it for a physical reward (exercise) .. But that I was in search of a Spiritual reward.

I was drained tired and I had a bad day .. at work I felt trapped.. I felt like I was in a cage and I wanted to run out.. But I was not able.. I am responsible and I want my job.. but I was having a " moment" .. a what Am I doing with my life moment.. A I want so much out of life and my mind is tired of thinking " what do I do next ? ".

I felt loss and like I needed to scream .. vent to do something..

Anyways work day was over and I headed with a lot of apprehension to the Mountain.
I have been climbing this mountain for a couple of weeks.. I am on a get fit or burst Mode.

But this time it was different. I climb and I said to myself.. " I will be at the highest point that I can be.. and I will be that much closer to GOD.."

As I went up and felt all the pain in my legs and bottom that I could bear .. I kept telling myself.. make it to the top .. U have to.

I got the strength that I did not know I still had.. As I started I was so tired that I said " God don't let me die doing this climb" because I was so exhausted..

But anyways .. I made it to the Top.. and as I walked to the Pinnacle of the Hill... I called upon God and I evoked him in the Name of His Son and I asked for the Holy Spirit to come to me and fill me with strength.

And I proceeded to make this prayer .. I asked GOD for guidance.. I asked him for Help.. I asked him to speak to me. I asked to show me my purpose and I asked for blessings in my life .. my spiritual , Sentimental and Financial.. I felt so much better and my mind felt so much at ease..

Today I will do it again.. for I fear that the every day Hassel are blocking my mind and are not allowing me to think..

I need to think out side the box.. I need to dance to the beat of my own drum , I need to make a decision that will be beneficial to my soul and to my pocket book..

Anyways .. I just thought I would share with you al this.. I am on a Journey ..I am trying to find myself and the place that I will play in this world.. Not an easy thing to do.. so I pray That GOD in his infinite mercy .. can help me and guide me through this.. and that I may glorify his Holy name, in what ever I decide to be or do.

xoxoox sea

Thank You!!

I would like to take some time to Remember and Thank all the Military Service men and women who have given their lives to defend and protect this Nation.

Thank you to the mothers and fathers, brothers, sisters, wives, and children whose loved one is serving or has served in the military, and a Specially to those who have lost a loved one.

and to the Fallen Soldiers and the ones who are in Active Duty, and to our Veterans , I thank You for providing me with freedoms that have come at such a great cost.

I thank you for selfishly putting on that uniform and placing your life in harms way to protect this nation.

There are two things that I choose never to write or discuss because I have respect for others , but Today I will mention both of them .

1. Religion , Thank you for giving me the right to believe and worship GOD, and for that I ask him in the name of his only son JESUS to Protect and keep you safe. I ask him to be with you on those lonely nights as you walk in harms way , I ask him to be with you at your side and most importantly I ask him to bring you all back Home.

2. Politics.. I would like to express how much I support our Armed Forces, but I value their lives more than anything else, and I would love it if our new President would actually keep his campaign promise which was to bring the Troops back home, Instead of deploying more to Afghanistan!.

Empty promises is not what we need, a moment of silence is nice, but seeing someone alive is better. Staring at the Pictures of fallen soldiers for TV time is just a gesture.. deciding to bring them all back that is Action!!!

The say they are fighting terrorists abroad, in reality we have that here at home, worry more about your citizens and protect them and your service men.

Blood is to much of a High Price to pay. Some times a wise man .. decides to retreat and win .. instead of continue the fight and loose more lives.

HI.. Long Time...No hear !!

As I sit here . And remember how life used to be a couple of years ago, All I have to say Is Thank You God, for saving me and My Family. I have been busy and have not had time to update my Blog.. work, Family Obligations and Life.. have been overworking me. When that happens I know I need to slow down and take some time for me.. Usually that time always involves Jesus and My Church. when I am tired and Drained I take time and go more often to Church and recharge my self. So I have been doing that and Slowly I am feeling a bit better.

I haven't even gone to the gym in 3 weeks... OMG!! I can not allow that to happen I am on a mission and I will conquer..


break is over.. just wanted to tell you whenever you feel like life ,parents, work, school are drowning you.. always look up and call upon Jesus.. he is always right there waiting to give you a hand.

Blessings and XOXOX... Liz

I just saw the trailer for this new movie called : LEGION... by Sony Pictures  set to be released in Jan 22, 2010

It looks like a very cool movie.. can't wait to see it.. go to this site to see the clip.. or trailer.. http://www.legionmovie.com/

It looks awesome.. Angels, God , Prophecy.

 " the last time God send a Flood this time he sends Angels"