For my Niece... on her Birthday!!

Happy 10th Birthday Becky... Ten years ago you blessed our Family with your presence, joy, smile and love. I thank God for sending you and your brother to us, We needed more family to love and I am thankful for you. I am sorry  that we cannot be celebrating our Birthdays, but we must celebrate the life of Grandpa first and then we will celebrate our day. You are blessed beyond belief, you are strong and because of the hards times we experience we Grow stronger. May God Bless you Abundantly, May he keep you safe all the days of your life. And may he bless you with the desires of your heart. Happy Birthday!!! Love you Lots and I promise we will have our Birthdays soon. Blessings and lots of Love xoxoxox

Check out my Poem - Titled Why?

My Poem  Why?

Inspired by the many times I was questioned why I chose to study Social Work

My Poem Why?

Constantly I am asked why?
To that question I reply

Because I opened up my eyes

I saw my surroundings, the disparities and the inequalities

I saw broken streets and broken dreams

Graffiti walls and dead end streets

I saw dead dogs lying on the sidewalk, as well as young men dying due to gang violence

I saw dead people walking, with somber looks filled with sadness, No sparkle left in their eyes, No dreams to bring them back to life

And Why is No one talking, walk past me like I'm invisible, treat me like I’m a stranger or a criminal

Trash filled alleys, with dirty mattresses, trash pilling on like mini mountains. Police harassment is so common, just like receiving a summons

The bird circling night and day flashing its lights to no success

No neighborhood watch, No community or unity

Broken houses, broken windows, broken families, Broken dreams

Constantly I am asked why?

To that question I reply

Because I opened up my eyes

I saw children lacking things and mothers struggling to make ends meet

I saw absent fathers...and boys aimlessly wandering with no super hero to guide them,

No loving words or encouragement, No little league games, No Role Models

A constant journey through the jail system going in and out like if it’s was a fast food   restaurant

I saw the youth walking aimlessly with No guidance, future or hope for a tomorrow, No education, No job and No College diploma.

I saw young people almost children making babies with no tomorrow, waiting in line for cash assistance

I saw old men with tired arms, with broken backs and sleepless eyes 

I see the sorrow in their yes,  

I saw the grandmas with gray hair working night and day waiting on the bus to take them home back to where they live, 

From lush gardens and clean and safe streets, back into communities filled with broken walls and broken dreams, with broken hearts and much despair... With No help coming from anywhere...

Every day I'm asked why?

To that simply I reply... Because I opened up my eyes and saw the sorrow in their eyes. 

He makes my Life a Little bit sweeter

on my worst days, he always manages to put a smile on my face , this time all he needed was my iPad and his imagination and was able to produce these images that made me forget about how horrible I was feeling. Like they say Laughter is a cure for almost anything, even if its a temporary relief. Thank you my Lil "D" tia Loves you Greatly 

 Green Apple/ Arm boy 

Alien D

Cosmic Flower 

Space Bird Attacks 

In my weakest moments.. he carries me on

I have been missing for a while, I am starting to feel that this pain will never go away. If you read my previous posts you will know by now that my health is not the greatest thing right now. I have held tight to my faith and  believe that God will help me through this. Mentally I am patient , but Physically there are bad days and then there are really really bad days. Yesterday I went to my Dr. Appt. and as I was sitting there waiting for my turn, I saw the other patients, they are all in their late 60's - 80's and are dealing with ailments due to age. I unfortunately am no where near that age at best I am 1/3 of their age and I am in the same boat. Achy wrist, hands, neck , back and all that good stuff that I earned while earning a living for my family. Man all I have to say is that there has to be a solution to my problem ASAP!! I have a life that is waiting for me and these annoying side streets have already gotten on my nerves. NO More Pit Stops.. God help me Fly into my future and allow me to achieve my full potential.
xoxoxo Liz

Dream in Color

When I dream, I dream in color, and most of the time I dream with my eyes wide opened. I love to imagine what life has ahead for me and I make plans to make sure that I have something to look forward to and to have something to work towards. Over the last couple of months my life has changed drastically. I became ill and eventually lost my job, at first I was sad , but I soon discovered that God had bigger and better plans for me. In September I was in so much pain I wanted my arm to be cut off. I prayed and was so grateful to have some time to rest. Unfortunately the rest didn't make the pain go away, I felt like an 90 year old great grandmother, unable to brush my hair, cook a meal and even unable to make my bed. for an active person , having your body break on you takes an emotional toll. But Like I said God had plans for me, but I needed to decide what I would be willing to do. I applied to school even before I was really sick, delayed enrollment two times, I was not going to be able to delay it anymore . So I took a leap of faith and I told myself if I worked 40 hours shifts in pain, I can take two 1 hour classes once a week. So I did and now I am two weeks away from finishing my first semester of Grad School. My body is still recuperating, I am still in pain, But I am grateful I didn't wait and lose my opportunity to attend school. It has helped me to focus on getting better and not feel sorry for myself. So when life seems unfair and everything seems to be against you, don't give up, look for the rainbow that appears after the storm and hold on to your dreams, and make them a reality.

 after my Masters... Law School here I come.. and I come in the name of Jesus who strengthens me!! my body may be broken, but my Spirit is strengthen in Jesus who Strengthens me.
And as my School says... FIGHT ON!!!

I wish I lived in Fafi's World

Greetings I am unable to sleep... hard to find the right position to fall sleep when your body is achy. So I decided to write. It is officially March and the countdown to Birthdays has begun. March 02, will be Dr. Seuss's Bday and we plan to read some Green eggs and Ham. On saturday March 03, will be my future mother in laws birthday. So I need to get some roses. Sunday March 04, is dear old Pops Bday and I need to get him a Cake. And then Drum roll please... Friday March 9, will be my nephews' 10 birthday !!! Yeah!!! How time flies, just yesterday he was a baby and now he is celebrating a decade. Ten wonderful years filled with his laughter and wonder. I pray that God continues to bless us with many many many many many more birthdays . May he Bless all the March babies and may their day be filled with Love and Green unicorns =D

this is one of my favorite Fafi paintings.. it makes me smile.

The Broken Column

Greeting and Happy So Belated New Year!!
 I have been super duper busy,with Dr. Visits, tests and Physical Therapy. I have been dealing with my health issues for over a year, if I have one piece of advice to give you, it would be to please find a job that will not require you to do so much manual labor. I was so thankful for my job, as it allowed me the opportunity to help my family financially and still have time to get my undergraduate degree, but I do regret staying longer than planned. We only get one body and if we mess it up, we will regret it forever. I have been in pain for over a year and a half. I have gone through Different Doctors and nothing but, I am so blessed to currently be in the care of one the best Dr.'s and he is such a Knight in shinning armor. I also Have the best Physical Therapist, she is God sent her hands are a blessing and her partner in crime is amazing. They were able to help me reduce the intensity of my headaches and for that I am so grateful. Thank You Jesus!!! for allowing me to find them. So take this as an example, value your health ore than your job. As of this past Wednesday my work place could no longer wait form to return and I was officially let go. I don't blame them , they have so much work that needs to be done and I understand they needed to replace me. Like I said I appreciated the opportunity to work with them. Now I can only pray that God heals me and makes my body complete. Due to the pain I am limited as to what  I can do, and what I do I have to endure so much pain to do. So please take care of your self, make room to dance and move and give yourself some rest time. I worked non-stop for 8 years with out taking a vacation, worked OT and on weekends and the money is always useful, but your health is PRICELESS!!!!! so take care of it. We only get one body and if we mess it up we can not go to the Doctor and ask for a replacement. Trust  me, I tried and it's not possible. I went to my Doctor and I said I need the following parts change do you have any spare for My neck, My Shoulders ( left and right) my Arms ( left and Right) my wrist ( left and right ) and Hands, and can you  please put a Rush Order on my right one, and also My upper Back, and if possible my head , I have a headache that travel all the way to my right temple and right eye and my eye socket feels like it is going to explode. They said We are sorry =( we can't do that.
Moral of my story, money comes and goes and we need it, but our health is more important than money. and once it goes, it is almost impossible to get it back.

I feel like Frieda Khalo and I can so tally understand how she felt. To stop the pain that our bodies are experiencing we are forced to drink medication that alters our minds, our thought and makes us feel better for a while, but it does not cure us. The muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatory that are supposed to help makes my mouth bitter and makes my skin dry and fall and all the other medication has side effects that will either heal you or kill you. So take care of your Health !!

Picture is The Broken Column by Frieda Kahlo
xoxox
Liz

Merry Christmas....

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, or Hanukkah, I hope you enjoyed the time with your loved ones. I am grateful that our little family had a great xmas, my nephews were so excited to see Santa and the goodies he might be bringing. This year all they asked for were Trash Packs and Squinkies... LOL I know you might be asking what are those? in two words..Highway Robbery. They are small eraser top like mini toys that my nephews are wild over. So we spend an entire day searching for them and we had some luck at Target and at Toys R Us. In the end they got what they had asked for and we had a wonderful time.

Next stop New Years and I am hoping we can attend our church's New Years Vigil. I have not missed one in over 12 years and I don't want to miss this one. I apologize for not posting as much as I would want to , but I am still recuperating from my injury and my shoulders and arms are still not working. So I am not able to spend much time on the computer =(. In case I am not able to post before New Years I am going to wish you all a Happy New Year, May it be filled with greatness and may it be filled with Love, Family, Abundance, Health and Prosperity.

 I am thankful for all that God has given me and for all that I am yet to achieve. I thank him in advance for all the blessings he has already sent my way and the blessings that are schedule to arrive shortly. I am grateful for my family and I pray that 2012 will be a blessed year for all of you.

xoxox Liz

Love the inner child in all of us

Saturday I had the privilege to attend the Coca Cola Adelante Tour. And all I can say is WOW!! My friend invited me and I am so grateful she did. I was in  Forum for Latina women and I got to meet some amazing women. I would like to say Thank You! to Coca Cola, Sandra Cisneros, Michele Ruiz, Isasara Bay, Nell Merlino, Nely Galan , and all the women who were present at the Coca-Cola Adelante Forum. It is really hard to be a Latina with a dream and not have mentors or other women similar to yourself to look up to. But yesterday I finally felt like I belong, I was so happy to be surrounded by all my sisters who had similar dreams and aspirations. And I finally was able to embrace what makes me an outcast in my own community. In the words of Sandra Cisneros, I am embracing being a Chingona and I am proud to be one. And Thanks to Michelle Ruiz I was finally able to "Let it Go to Grow", I had such an Amazing time and learn so much that I am so eager to share with the rest of the world.


My most favorite part of the event was when they asked us pull our baby picture out, We had been asked to take a picture of us when we were small, I chose one of myself when I was about 4-5 years old. I was in El Salvador wearing a soft light blue dress and my hair was long with a bow on the side. So when we all took out our pictures, we were asked to take a good look at that Little girl in the picture, and I am being honest when I say this, when I looked at myself in the picture my heart broke. I felt so much sadness and pain and I was embarrassed because I had big drops falling out of my eyes. But I looked around and I wasn't the only one. I realized that we shared one more thing in common , PAIN we were all touched by the sight of the little girls that stared back at us. We were then told to look at that little girl and promise her to be the best mother we could be to her. There was no one with a dry eye in that room. I realized there and then that most of us Latinas have been raised by mothers who were never mothered and loved. Their unresolved issues and pain were passed down from generation to generations and as a consequence we are left with so many issues that need to be resolved. I finally understood why I was crying, I felt all the emotions rush me and I realized that I always wanted to feel a mothers love. I always longed for affection, for  my parents to see me and love me for who I am . The words were spoken and we had to repeat them to our selves, I realized that I was still that little 5 year old wanting to be accepted and loved. So I promised to do just that I WILL LOVE MYSELF and be the best mom I can be to my 5 year old self. She is still living in me and unless I love her and acknowledge her pain, she won't be able to blossom into a successful woman.
I learned so much and  I will share it with everyone I know. I will start with my nephew and niece. 


xoxoxo Liz

December is Here and it's arrival can be deadly

OMG!!! I love winter and the Holidays , but this year December has come with a vengeance. In LA LA Land we are so used to sunny days and warm winters, so when we are struck by a cold winter breeze we are all in panic mode. But to be honest this year the winds are stronger and scarier. As I sit on my bed listening to the wind and looking out my window, I see a mini tornado arriving. Our tree in the front yard is being shook back and forth and our little gazebo is being tossed back and forth and OMG!! it looks like it is bout to take flight. The wind is so strong that its knocking things over and breaking tree branches. It is 1:30 am and the wind has just knocked tables and chairs over. I think if I go out there I will be flown back to Kansas with my Ruby Red slippers. My mom and brother  are outside trying to secure things down..mom better get in before she's lifted up from the ground. 

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope your thanksgiving was as amazing as mine, filled with family, love and blessings. This year has been tough, I have been off from work for a couple of months, financially I am barely getting by and Physically I am ill. But I have faith that God will turn things around for me an that this trial and tribulation will pass from me soon. But even though my life is not as peachy as I would want it to be, I still have many things to be grateful for. I am grateful for Family, for Friends and Loved ones. I am grateful for my nephews, every day they inspire me to be better. I am grateful for my mother, That I still have her in my life. I am grateful for my JZ for his unconditional love and his patience. But above all I am grateful for my life, for the air that I breath, for the opportunity that God has given me and is getting ready to give me. I am grateful for my Pastors and their teachings and prayers and I am grateful for my school. Thank You Jesus for all that you give me and for loving me.

xoxox Liz

Living by Faith

Living by faith is not as easy as we think, and for the most part we forget that when we are going through some tough time, we need to trust in God more and be patient. My natural man wants to scream , yell, shout and insult the entire world for making my life harder than it should be, but my Spiritual man reminds me that I need to relax and trust in God. It reminds me to lay all my troubles, aches and sorrows in his hands and step back and let him do his will. I know so much easier said than done, but I can tell you that it took me 8 years of working like a dog , and an injury to finally let go of my grip on my own self  and finally allow God to take control of everything. I can now say that I am finally living by Faith, I have never been so not in control of things as I am now. And I can't do anything except Trust and have Faith that God will see me through. So I hope you learn from my experience, don't allow yourself to be like me and wait until the last minute to let God have full control of your life. It can save you a ton of pain.

Also know that when it rains it pours.. this week I had an important commitment with God that I needed to keep, well I am convinced that a true blessing is headed my way because everything that could happen and go wrong did. First my phone decided to die on me and started to do weird things with the screen, then as if I didn't need them my glasses mysteriously cracked in half,  then my Dr. request for 2 test were denied by the insurance company and I had the worst, neck shoulder arm pain ever and today I am sick with a horrible cold. So as you can see when it rains it pours, but I believe in JESUS and he will help me through this. I know that I will be healed soon, a Blessing s coming my way and my life will be transformed and all the Honor and Glory will go to the Lord.

Father I surrender my life, my will, my health, my hopes and my dreams into your hands and I ask you in the name of your son Jesus that you help me overcome these obstacles that are in my way and give me Justice and Victory over my oppressors,  Amen!!

9 years and counting

A year ago he called and sang to me Perfect by Smashing Pumpkins, today he text me to tell me he is making me a CD.. and asked if I wanted a specific song, so I said yes the song u sang me "Perfect"... little did I know that it was exactly a year to the day. Happy 9th Anniversary my JZ xoxox

When Life throws you lemons add strawberries and make Lemonade

Greetings and happy Saturday.. I just finished my PT which consists of stretching and resistance bands. I have been sick for almost a year, and right now my body needs some major rest and TLC. But I know that it also needs to move. I am limited to many things including the gym, mostly because of the pain. I get frustrated at times, but last week God spoke to me and as I was complaining about how long its been and why I am not getting better, the following phrase ran in my head
"It took you 8 years to damage your body... what makes you think you will heal it in a month?"
Point made and taken, so every day I make sure I do my part in the healing process, I eat less and healthier, I take my walk and I do my PT. I am doing my best under the circumstances and I have learned to be patient.
On the positive I am able to rest, catch up on some much needed and oh so over due sleep. I am able to go to church and work on my communion with God and I am able to spend some over due quality time with my mom. So for now  I will pray for healing trust God and Listen to my  Dr. and follow his care and do my Home Stretches and give my body some TLC.

Monday I was able to stop by and support my nephews in their school's literature parade. My little Cowboy/ Rango and my Little Mermaid, they looked adorable. We had so much fun and spent the afternoon together, grabbed a couple of happy meals and had an awesome afternoon. At home we had  some singing and dancing, courtesy of the nephews, they put on a show for me and it was great.

So like my tittle states.. " When life throws you lemons... don't let them get you bitter instead grab some strawberries and make some yummy Lemonade =D.

MAC Glitter and Ice and Johnny Weir

I have been ogling the new Holiday collection from MAC which has Johnny Weir as their spokesperson. But I am sad that we haven't heard much from him, the collection grabbed my attention because he was involved in it. I was happy to see MAC support such an amazing athlete and make him more known. I admire his self confidence and how resilient he is... if you don't know much about him you should google him. He is an awesome artist, who is doing it his way in a world where individuality is not always rewarded. So I hope I can get my hands on at least 2 things from this collection, I want it all.. but I am on a budget and can't afford to spend more than I have.

Creative Memories

Yesterday my brother and I helped the kids to create some awesome Pumpkins.  This was the first year we allowed them to do so. My nephew was excited.. but they still need more time to learn how to use a sharp object.  My niece was loving the getting your hands all gooey with pumpkins guts. D wanted an angry birds pig and my niece wanted a dog. So I think they came out pretty nice and the best part are the memories we created with them. As kids my dad would let my brother and I carve our own pumpkins and we remember how much fun we had. After my mom found her way back to Jesus we stopped celebrating Halloween and anything that came with it. Pumpkins was a part of that, but we remembered how much fun it was to carve the pumpkins and the time we spent with dad making them. Growing up we didn't have many of those memories, so we decided to let them experience the carving of a pumpkin, we stayed away from the ghost and scary faces and instead we created works of art. I know people will judge and criticize us, but I pray that God sees the intention of our hearts was to spend some quality time with the kids and create a lasting memory. The smile on their faces says it all, they were so proud of their carvings. They said the other pumpkins have scary faces with triangles, but ours are happy and even have ears. Its hard raising kids in this time and trying to instill in them values, which include Tolerance and Acceptance. And its specially hard to make them understand things that many adults have a hard time grasping. We pray that God keeps his eye on them and that they chose to grow in his presence and serve him. But that is for them to decide when the time is right as for now it is up to  us to guide and show them the way. While at the same time teaching them to respect other people and respect their choices and beliefs. They need to learn that we need to treat people and respect them the same way we expect them to treat us.

So I pray that you all have a wonderful week with your loved ones and may the Lord keep you all safe.

Special News...

Hello every one... I have not been able to log on and write on my blog because I have been sick. Who knew that a pain on my shoulder would last this long. It was more than just a tiredness.. there is something really wrong, I have been in pain for almost a year and it doesn't seem to end, That's why I have been MIA and haven't been able to update. Actually I haven't been able to do much typing this will guarantee a pain on my right hand and some major swelling. The worst part is that it seems like since its my pain.. Dr and Insurance don't seem to care. But Thank God I have him... I am putting my health , My life and my future in his hands. And I trust he will not let me down. Right now I have so many limitations.. my life is on Hold... I will say that even in Darkness God always lets his Light shine.  As far as answering prayers he does more than that, He manifest is works in our lives so I know that this illness, pain will soon be a thing of the past and Gods name will be glorified.  As for now I need to rest and trust in him.

Oh Yeah before I forget.. I have decided what to do  with my life, with Gods Guidance I know I will get to full fill my destiny. It might just take a bit more and more work to get there.

I am also happy to announce that God is awesome and has open a door for me to continue my education. Come January I pray that I am feeling better health wise and ready to start my Masters Program at USC. =D Yes I was accepted to USC's  Master in Social Work Program and I am so excited to start. To God goes all the Glory and I pray that He continues to use me as a vessel to share his greatness with the world.  To all those who believe in a God of greatness, I tell you that he exists and No dream is too high and No obstacle too great that He can't overcome.

You will be Missed...

Words evade me.. as I write this post... It's sad when a Person passes away, but a bigger void is left when that person is one that has made a dent on the world and has motivated the world to "think outside the box". Not only are we mourning the loss of the person, but also the lost of his vision and his great thinking.

SeaWorld and Mini Vacation

We just came back from our mini vacation in Seaworld. I had a blast  with my BF and my nephews. we specially loved seeing and getting splashed by Shamu, we were completely soaked and left dripping wet. But it was worth the pain and discomfort, I had promised to take the kids to Seaworld if they finished their work books that I created for them for their Summer vacation. So every day they had to work on the book and try to finish it before going back to school. They were good and did as we had agreed so I needed to keep my side of the bargain and off we went to sea world. They had an Amazing time, and I was glad to be able to do this for them.
By the way my nephew's teacher said he started the school year with a Bang and was ready for 3rd grade, he told her, that his aunt had made him a work book to study while on summer vacation and that's why he was ready =D.
 in case you want to know how to created the book, its simple there are so many Free resources on line for work sheets. I printed grade appropriate work and had them velobound in a book. My co-workers thought I was being mean , because I was making my nephews work during their summer break, but I think it was valuable learning time that we were able to take advantage of. So I really recommend this it helps them a lot.  I included fun work sheets like coloring ages and puzzles, connect the dots and drawings to make the work fun. I even included their picture and a special message to make it more personal, They loved their books and I loved the results.

OMG!! Seasons End and change is here

 Sometimes we don't like change.. but sometimes we need this type of change so that God can work his wonders on our life.